I dont want to tell my momma that my vision is going in and out and has been doing that for over a week. You see I dont want to tell my momma because I have got to go with her to take her home she is going to get some happy drugs and wont be safe to drive home. We are going to stop and get something good to eat for slunch (our cross between supper and lunch)
I am not too concerned about the driving home because it is usually better when I am sitting down. I think the blood return from my lower body is crappy that is why I have been blacking out, feeling like I am going to black out, and my legs have been dropping out from under me.
I will make an appointment with my PCP for next week, and get referrals to cardiology and urology and to a osteopathic manapulator, for cranial manipulation to try and help with my migraines since neurology is basically useless.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Why not me? Why not now?
I have been through a lot in my life. I have a bunch of diagnoses for my medical problems, there is not a system in my body that does not have at least one diagnosis, most have multiple diagnoses. I am getting ready for a week chock full of medical appointments, only 4 appointments at the current moment but there is a need for another appointment or two.
Last week I was feeling very broken after I lost a job opportunity because of institutional policy regarding hiring a patient as an employee, that was not very clear when I applied for a "quick hire" position.
One of my newer self diagnosis that will be put to the test on monday when I see the new neurologist, is cluster headache/migraine. It will be great fun to see if he agrees with my self assesment. I also need to see if he would be willing to evaluate me for acquired Chiari malformatioin because of the bizarre symptoms that I have been having puts me highly suspicious that something else is going on.
Today I was supposed to go to church with my mom. But I have a major problem with our current church, I don't seem to fit anywhere and the critics of myself and my lifestyle are too much for me to deal with. No one seems to realize that I am fighting my own battle and I dont need the criticism of my fellow body of believers who are ment to support each other through problems and not to cause more grief
Last week I was feeling very broken after I lost a job opportunity because of institutional policy regarding hiring a patient as an employee, that was not very clear when I applied for a "quick hire" position.
One of my newer self diagnosis that will be put to the test on monday when I see the new neurologist, is cluster headache/migraine. It will be great fun to see if he agrees with my self assesment. I also need to see if he would be willing to evaluate me for acquired Chiari malformatioin because of the bizarre symptoms that I have been having puts me highly suspicious that something else is going on.
Today I was supposed to go to church with my mom. But I have a major problem with our current church, I don't seem to fit anywhere and the critics of myself and my lifestyle are too much for me to deal with. No one seems to realize that I am fighting my own battle and I dont need the criticism of my fellow body of believers who are ment to support each other through problems and not to cause more grief
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Tears wont stop coming
The tears just wont stop coming. I am not totally sure why but the simplest thing will make me boo hoo. I saw the dentist today and got a lecture since I hadn't flossed my teeth this morning, I did brush my teeth but how my teeth fit together to get the front teeth looking decent you need to floss them. I am holding tight, at least trying to, to the fact that I am doing the best I can when just putting anything in my mouth aggrevates my gag reflex and makes it real easy to start puking. I am just tired of fitting this battle and am to the point of being tempted to not see him again for 18 months or so. But I wont do that, I will see if I can get a Xanax to take before the next appointment because I really dred that place at the current moment.
I had ear tubes placed on monday and that was a challenge the numbing drops feel like fire when they are first placed, it takes a lot to screw up my composure when it comes to being ready for a medical procedure but I lost it and when the left side wasn't totally numb and I was feeling sharp pain when I wasnt supposed to feel anything but some pressure I was past not happy. But I honestly dont regret doing the procedure, my vertigo is better and I actually have had periods of time when my ears dont ring, and CPAP therapy at night is going so much better I have actually kept it on for all night for 2 nights in a row.
I have got to call my PCP and get scheduled for her to do something about the 2 ingrown toenails that I have right now. It is a chronic problem for me but since it only happens about 2 times per year it really isnt that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things.
I see my shrink in a week or two and if I am still this over emotional I will see if he would be willing to put me on a low dose anti-depressant. I know that there is a big risk for me to be placed on any type or dose of anti-depressant because of my bipolar disorder, but I need some happy help. And I will be going on a sleep aid at my next pain management appointment to try and make it where I can get 8 hours of solid sleep and have it not be interrupted 2-3 times in the night with the exception of last night when I only ended getting up 1 time.
Please pray for Anna as she has surgery today and is tired of being sick and tired of the headache that is honestly so miserable and difficult to cope with that you can take the worst pain in your life multiply it by 50 and you might get close to the pain and what effects it has your quality of life.
I had ear tubes placed on monday and that was a challenge the numbing drops feel like fire when they are first placed, it takes a lot to screw up my composure when it comes to being ready for a medical procedure but I lost it and when the left side wasn't totally numb and I was feeling sharp pain when I wasnt supposed to feel anything but some pressure I was past not happy. But I honestly dont regret doing the procedure, my vertigo is better and I actually have had periods of time when my ears dont ring, and CPAP therapy at night is going so much better I have actually kept it on for all night for 2 nights in a row.
I have got to call my PCP and get scheduled for her to do something about the 2 ingrown toenails that I have right now. It is a chronic problem for me but since it only happens about 2 times per year it really isnt that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things.
I see my shrink in a week or two and if I am still this over emotional I will see if he would be willing to put me on a low dose anti-depressant. I know that there is a big risk for me to be placed on any type or dose of anti-depressant because of my bipolar disorder, but I need some happy help. And I will be going on a sleep aid at my next pain management appointment to try and make it where I can get 8 hours of solid sleep and have it not be interrupted 2-3 times in the night with the exception of last night when I only ended getting up 1 time.
Please pray for Anna as she has surgery today and is tired of being sick and tired of the headache that is honestly so miserable and difficult to cope with that you can take the worst pain in your life multiply it by 50 and you might get close to the pain and what effects it has your quality of life.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
How can I be the most helpful and content person that I possibly can be? That is the question that I have for right now. I am tired of trying tired of fighting and I just want to be able to be content in my circumstances.
I am facing yet another procedure, tubes placed in my ears. The nurse who explained the procedure made me laugh when she said take some tylenol or motrin before the appointment to help with the pain. I take stronger stuff than just the OTC meds to try and keep my pain at a tolerable level. So I will be taking the stonger stuff on monday just to try and stay somewhat comfortable and out of my head.
I may call my PCP on monday and see if she will call in a single dose of Xanax or something similar just to try and help me relax because I am a little uncomfortable with the thought of the doctor going with a scapel into my ear canal. Especially when I have to balance my big body, got to be honest I aint supermodel thin, on an exam table that is less wide than a twin mattress.
I have to make another appointment with my PCP because since I had my shunt turned down to try and lessen the intensity/frequency of migraines and other similar headaches...my pressure headaches can cause migraines in me. The side of my neck that has the tubing on it has been swollen and painful to move. I have had one trigger point injection on that side which helped for about a day very much, since then it hasnt gotten as bad as it was before the injection but still is not very easy to deal with. I can atleast move my head with out having to move my whole upper body which is a big plus when I am trying to drive.
Yesterday I worked and had one of the boys with me the entire day, he woke up with a 101.0 temperature. I took his older brother to school, then went home to pick up my medicine since I was not going to be at home to take my meds, went to the pharmacy to pick up meds for the sick boy since I could payroll deduct there, then we went back to his house, called my ENT got an appointment for that day, went to the ENT appointment, went back to the pharmacy to pick up ear drops that I need to put in again when I am done typing this blog entry, went home let the kiddo sleep for another couple of hours, went to school to pick the older boy up, came home the kiddo went back to sleep upstairs when we woke him for dinner he was burning up with temperature 104.9 and I didnt wait for it to beep I took him up stairs and got him into a lukewarm bath I really didnt want to have a febrile seizure because he was so hot, or drop his body temp too quickly and trigger a seizure that way. I only let the bath drop his temperature by a degree and a half, then put him in undies and a pair of shorts and let him have his blanket back. I didnt put a shirt on him to facilitate the body's cooling off ability....no shirt was also used because I knew that he was going to wrap up in the blanket and I didnt was an extra layer to make him hotter.
I have got to check on the kiddo today to see how he is doing since grandma was planning on taking him to see the doctor.
Just got off the phone with the grandma, his highest temperature that the kiddo ran for grandma was 99 degrees. Of course he has be be a little stinker for me but behaves somewhat for her temperature wise.
The other appointment that I have for this up coming week is going to the dentist to get my crown fitted. It came in early so we are going to fit it early. This is another step in the process of getting me to where I can go for a work week over spring break to Camp.
There is a possiblity of me getting a part time medical assistant position with one of my personal physicians, scratch that angels, because he is my pain managment doctor. I am waiting on getting a phone call from the medical review officer that did my drug test. I know that I probably popped on the opiods since I am on 2 different pain killers that are both opiods.
Mindy
I am facing yet another procedure, tubes placed in my ears. The nurse who explained the procedure made me laugh when she said take some tylenol or motrin before the appointment to help with the pain. I take stronger stuff than just the OTC meds to try and keep my pain at a tolerable level. So I will be taking the stonger stuff on monday just to try and stay somewhat comfortable and out of my head.
I may call my PCP on monday and see if she will call in a single dose of Xanax or something similar just to try and help me relax because I am a little uncomfortable with the thought of the doctor going with a scapel into my ear canal. Especially when I have to balance my big body, got to be honest I aint supermodel thin, on an exam table that is less wide than a twin mattress.
I have to make another appointment with my PCP because since I had my shunt turned down to try and lessen the intensity/frequency of migraines and other similar headaches...my pressure headaches can cause migraines in me. The side of my neck that has the tubing on it has been swollen and painful to move. I have had one trigger point injection on that side which helped for about a day very much, since then it hasnt gotten as bad as it was before the injection but still is not very easy to deal with. I can atleast move my head with out having to move my whole upper body which is a big plus when I am trying to drive.
Yesterday I worked and had one of the boys with me the entire day, he woke up with a 101.0 temperature. I took his older brother to school, then went home to pick up my medicine since I was not going to be at home to take my meds, went to the pharmacy to pick up meds for the sick boy since I could payroll deduct there, then we went back to his house, called my ENT got an appointment for that day, went to the ENT appointment, went back to the pharmacy to pick up ear drops that I need to put in again when I am done typing this blog entry, went home let the kiddo sleep for another couple of hours, went to school to pick the older boy up, came home the kiddo went back to sleep upstairs when we woke him for dinner he was burning up with temperature 104.9 and I didnt wait for it to beep I took him up stairs and got him into a lukewarm bath I really didnt want to have a febrile seizure because he was so hot, or drop his body temp too quickly and trigger a seizure that way. I only let the bath drop his temperature by a degree and a half, then put him in undies and a pair of shorts and let him have his blanket back. I didnt put a shirt on him to facilitate the body's cooling off ability....no shirt was also used because I knew that he was going to wrap up in the blanket and I didnt was an extra layer to make him hotter.
I have got to check on the kiddo today to see how he is doing since grandma was planning on taking him to see the doctor.
Just got off the phone with the grandma, his highest temperature that the kiddo ran for grandma was 99 degrees. Of course he has be be a little stinker for me but behaves somewhat for her temperature wise.
The other appointment that I have for this up coming week is going to the dentist to get my crown fitted. It came in early so we are going to fit it early. This is another step in the process of getting me to where I can go for a work week over spring break to Camp.
There is a possiblity of me getting a part time medical assistant position with one of my personal physicians, scratch that angels, because he is my pain managment doctor. I am waiting on getting a phone call from the medical review officer that did my drug test. I know that I probably popped on the opiods since I am on 2 different pain killers that are both opiods.
Mindy
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