Just simply tired. I am tired of dealing with the pain, doctors, stress, symptoms of my medical conditions, and the normal stuff that people deal with....money and all that fun stuff (NOT)

I only had 3 doctors appointments this week. I use the word only because some weeks I have more than 5 and sometimes multiple ones on single days. 2 went well and 1 was not so much.

The not so much was the ENT appointment that was to check out whether or not I would be a good canadite for tubes since my frequency of ear infections is up to every 5 weeks with a 10 day cycle of antibiotics. The scheduler would not schedule me for any where near when I needed to be seen for having an active ear infection, I needed to be seen at day 4-6 post diagnosis but they wouldnt schedule me for any sooner than 10 days post diagnosis. They also wanted to do a test on my ear drums I gave them 10 minutes, 2 people to try, and was as patient as I could get. After 10 minutes I was crying and told the person multiple times to stop before the tech did.

The stuff that pain management did in clinic only helped for about a day and my scalp is still sensitive from where the needle was used. It doesnt hurt as bad as it did the first time that I had an occipital block done, so there is more hope in me trying that procedure again. It is a little hard to actually guage how productive and helpful it is since they cant do both occipital nerves because he wants to be really careful with the side that has my VP shunt on it because that is by far my lifeline and is my saving grace the majority of time if you just consider what modern medicine has done for me.

I will ask about the lidocaine/ketamine infusion that I have learned about from another IH family. I forgot to ask about it at my clinic visit, if it can help break the cycle of the pain from the migraine/cluster type headache I am game. I officially dont have the diagnosis of cluster headaches but from how they have presented over the past couple of months I am fairly sure that that is soon to be added to my many diagnoses.

I am still waiting on getting the letter that I need for my application for social security disability from my endocrinologist to go with binder and binder. Or I might just start the process myself by requesting the paperwork that I need to fill out and get the process to my first decision done quicker. I am just tired of waiting and it is getting frustrating knowing that I am such a burden for my mom with my medical expenses. She says I am not a burden but I can't help but feel that way when my medical expenses are easily 1 grand a month with cobra and medications.

The only really good thing that has happened this week is that I first got a phone call from Dr. A my pain management doctor to check on me and he wanted me to drop off a copy of my resume because he is hiring and because he is actively treating me he is more aware and understnading of my physical limitations. I made sure to ask him before I dropped off my resume the first time that he was completely aware that I do have some physical limitations but am one of the more dedicated and determined potential employees that he could ever get.

I am going to take the advice of one of my internet friends and take some time for myself today and relax and enjoy just laying in bed and watching Monk on my computer since Hulu.com is under maintaince still and cant set up an automatic queue like I can with my iTunes set up.

Mindy